What we say: 'I'm going to count to three...'
What we mean: We will NEVER get to three 'One...two...two and a half...two and three quarters...(have you stopped yet? - damn), two and ...erm nine tenths....two and ninety nine ninety ninths?'....(are we just making up fractions now?)
What we say: 'Don't make me turn the car round!'
What we mean: 'I am never actually going to turn the car round - we're late enough already - empty threat, empty threat....'
What we say: 'Maybe...'
What we mean: 'Ain't never gonna happen - nope, no way. Not in a million years.' Usually in answer to, 'can we get a cat/dog.'
What we say: 'We'll see...'
What we mean: See above.
What we say: 'Maybe tomorrow.'
What we mean : See above. Can you see there's a theme here?
What we say: 'If I have to tell you one more time...'
What we mean: 'Actually - I will probably tell you about six more times....'
What we say: 'Because I said so.'
What we mean: 'I can't think of any other winning argument so hey - just accept defeat. Mums trump kids. Na na na-na na.'
What we say: 'Are you sure you brushed your teeth?'
What we mean: 'You totally didn't brush your teeth. I know it. And you know it. I didn't hear any brushing sounds and don't smell any mint - 'fess up, small thing!'
What we say: 'Are you sure that's a good idea?'
What we mean: 'It's a terrible idea. Please don't.'
What we say: 'I'll be there in a minute.'
What we mean: 'I'll be there in more like 20 minutes when I've finished working/emailing/reading